I’m really pissed.

I was doing my monthly chore of going through a month’s worth of bills (as I always do when I get home from tour).  This morning I paid all the bills that were due and went about my day.

I went to file the paid bills and noticed something odd about my Telus Mobility bill.  There was still $64 and change owing.  Well, that doesn’t seem right.

After looking over the bill I see I had $92.40 in long distance charges.  What?  But I have a national long distance plan which gives me alot of coast-to-coast minutes PLUS I have evenings and weekends of no long distance charges.  How can this be???

So I logged into my Telus account online and looked through all the minutes for the last month.  Yep, something didn’t add up.

I called *611 and talked to a representative.  After several minutes on hold while he investigated, he came back on the line:

Rep: “Well sir, the good news is that there is definitely an error on your bill and we’ll be crediting your account for the $92.40.”

Me: “That’s it?”

Rep: “Well, uhm, and we’ve escalated this issue and it will be investigated as to why this happened but I can assure you it will not happen again.”

Me: “But how can you assure me it won’t happen again if you don’t know how it happened in the first place?”

Rep: “Uhm, well…”

Me: “And WHY should I be satisfied that this is a fair resolution?  I mean, if I didn’t scrutinize the Telus bill, I never would have found the error and Telus would have screwed me for nearly $100 and I would have never have been the wiser.”

Rep: “Well sir I’ve escalated the issue and someone will be looking into it.”

Me: “Not good enough.  I want a supervisor to call me when the investigation is complete and explain to me why I should continue to trust thieving Telus and why you should be worthy to keep my business.”

Seriously, why should I keep my account with Telus?  Why, when confronted with an error, does Telus only offer to credit the amount and think that I’ll just go away?  Why shouldn’t I benefit from your fuck up?  You’ve clearly tried to screw me and I caught you.  Apologies are not good enough.  Assurances that it won’t happen again are not enough.  If you want to keep my business, give me something… something meaningful.

Or maybe it’s just time to switch to Bell instead (Roger’s doesn’t work for me at all as they have no coverage up north).

My friends, the lesson is this:  study your bill.  I can guarantee that ‘they’ would never find the mistake themselves and happily call you up pro-actively.  No, they’ll just stick it harder in your ass.