I recently visited a family member in jail. I won’t say who, ‘cuz that’ll just rile someone up.
Now just to be clear, this was a ‘pre-trial’ holding center, not technically a prison.
I’ve never had the experience of visiting anyone in jail before, and, I must say, it was an experience.
It was almost exactly like you’d see it on TV. We had to all put our belongings in lockers, including our jackets, cell phones, wallets, etc.
We were escorted to the visiting area through a series of locked, large steel doors. Each inmate was behind a wall of glass and steel in a small ‘cubicle-like’ area. The only thing different is that they didn’t have the phones. You had to talk through this metal mesh below the glass, which made it difficult to hear sometimes.
The thing that stuck with me most was the ‘caliber’ of people there waiting. There were 4 women there, an older caucasian couple and me. The older couple were middle-class. They sat quietly in the waiting room prior to us all being lead down the hallway.
Each of the 4 women there were all fit my preconceived notion of an inmate’s girlfriend. They all sat together talking loudly to each other.
- One was in her late 30′s. She had a gravelly voice, the kind of voice only 30 years of heavy smoking will get you. She spoke of her 3 teenage kids and how one of her boys is getting in trouble with the law (big surprise given her husband is in jail… again). To me she seemed like the ‘lifer’ convict wife.
- One was not much older than 20… and she had a year old baby in her arms. She had been there many times. Her boyfriend was in jail and had apparently been in there for some time. This girl seemed like the daughter of the ‘lifer’ convict wife. Clearly she thought having a boyfriend in jail was cool.
- The 3rd woman was heavy-set. She didn’t say as much but certainly had that ‘look’ about her that she perhaps had spent some time in jail herself. Kind of butchy.
- The 4th woman was the perfect ‘convict’ girlfriend. Not only did she look the part to a ‘T’, complete with gelled, combed back short blond hair and matching drug addict frailty appearance but she proudly proclaimed her boyfriend had 81 convictions. Clearly she was ‘pack leader’ amongst the convict wife wannabes. She knew what it took to land a keeper.
It’s truly amazing the paths people take in life and how some people are perfectly comfortable with living a substandard existence.
Yes, it was quite an experience. Not one I’ll soon want to repeat.
6 Comments
“It’s truly amazing the paths people take in life and how some people are perfectly comfortable with living a substandard existence.”
“Substandard” by whose standards? Yours? And you have the authority to set standards for their lives why, exactly? You don’t even know a thing about those people, but certainly since the women are visiting men in jail, we know that the men, at least, have a roof over their head and three square a day. And if the women can smoke, be fat, or gel their hair, that means they have disposable income, and also, they’re not dying of malnutrition, malaria, or something equally preventable. So actually these “substandard” people have a very, very comfortable and above standard life. Compared to most of the rest of the world, anyway. If you want to judge them, at least it would make sense to expand your standard from your small bourgeois realm of existence to the rest of the world. Those people are doing very, very well. And they’re not unhappy and complaining about their circumstances, either, which is even more important than their social performance.
Ahhh yes, how foolish of me not to praise them for a job well done for the life paths they have chosen. Bravo ladies. Way to raise the bar.
Yes, my ‘standards’ compel me to strive for a better life than living behind bars, to have a good job, to provide well for me and my family. Yes, I’m a prick like that… but that’s how I roll.
If you want to live your life being a draw on society, you’ve got that right. If you want to be nothing more than a baby factory on welfare, that’s your right. If you want to continually choose a path of crime and go to jail, that’s also your right. But in my eyes you’re a leech… a cancer of society… and I don’t give a fuck if you think otherwise.
That’s the great thing about having a blog… being able to express your opinions and views. You are welcome to your views and I am welcome to mine.
Hey, pretty cool experience. Sad, but interesting I’m sure.
I see we’ll have lots to talk about over our next poker session.
Ok,I’m coming from a totally different perspective and belief. People here on this planet all have a part to play and an agreement that was made before they got here. In this physical, political world it is hard not to judge, but if you are aware and can look what is beyond what the average person sees, feels, knows and is taught then you might find some truths that apply to everyone and get the real meaning of why we do things here and learn what contribution they make to the level of world consciousness and the balance of Ying and Yang. Comprende?
I come from a belief of “If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, sounds like a duck….it’s a duck”. These are the likes that when you come home or to your vehicle and your shit is gone it’s them or people they are associated with that have just robbed you so they can sell it for a dime on the dollar to get their next fix. The only ying with that yang is to be able to catch them in the act!!!! Last year I had these type break into my house while myself and my family were sleeping and rob us, 10 feet down the hallway was my 2 year old sleeping, what happens if she wakes up and comes out of her room while they are pilfering my stuff??????
I fully agree Todd.
As for your break-in, that’s brutal! I hope they didn’t get away with too much. Too bad you slept through it!